Well, tomorrow will be my last day at Telstra...
...unless something else comes up. I have applied for a job in Dial Before You Dig, and there are some jobs coming up in faults, which I might be interested in. But what I would like to do is go back to Tafe and finish that multimedia course that I left to go work at Telstra.
I just need something to pay the bills between now and then! I'm planning on going to Centrelink, and I'll be doing some DJ'ing work, hopefully still playing at the restaurant and in November... Love For Sale, my awesome covers band has it's first gig... so there should be some $$ there!!!
Y'know, I really don't know if I was made for a 'full-time job'. I just wanna be able to use my gifts and talents and make money of that... not just spend 7 hours of every weekday doing something that's completely irrelevant to all these gifts and talents God has given me. Well, I did get to encourage a consultant yesterday, who wants to get into politics. So I guess that's one way I could use one of my gifts. But you know what I mean...
I dunno. Anyway, g2g. Wanna have time to make some toast before I start.
Love you all,
the gregglesaurus
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Can Queen change a life?
Most of you know, I'm a pretty big Queen freak. So, anyways, I was checking out Brian May's website yesterday, www.brianmay.com, and I saw this link to a part of the website called "Vicki's World". Thought it must've been something to do with his wife... but wait, his wife's name is Anita... it's Geoff Bullock's wife who is called Victoria, I think. Anyway...
I clicked on the link, and saw a picture of a 12-ish yr old girl with short hair. After a bit more perusal, I discovered it was the biographic site of a young girl named Vicki Moore, who had been diagnosed with cancer. Well, not just cancer, but lots of cancer. In her spine and brain... and yeah... anyway, somehow she discovered Queen's music, and she writes several times in her journal about how she would listen to Queen and that would be her safe place, where she would be able to find peace and forget about her illness and pain and just shut everything out. And she ended up meeting Brian May and he gave her a spot on his website where her journal is now located.
Now, this got me thinking... Queen aren't a Christian band, they didn't play under the anointing of the Holy Spirit, in fact, this afternoon I was listening to Queen and in my spirit, just was not enjoying it... I turned it off and it was like - woah. I don't think God's telling me I'm not allowed to listen to Queen, but sometimes, I think he wants me to listen to music that specifically is anointed by him, or ... well, just Christian music. But, I digress. My point is, if Queen can have that sort of effect... why can't the church?
Sometimes, I think there's more to the spiritual realm than what we Christians see. Is it as cut and dried as God and Satan? Or is there some sort of spiritual element to our basic humanity? If psychics power comes only from satan and demons, then why did Samuel come back up when the Witch of Endor summoned him? I was talking to one of my work friends last week about laying hands on people and healing them and stuff... he's a Catholic and he told me about how at his church one time, the priest came and laid hands on this little girl from their church and she was healed... a lot of pentecostals might question that... but you know, he started talking about Reiki and stuff... new age stuff... and... well, at first I gave my Christian-pat-answer, "that's from the dark side", etc, etc... and it probably is... but deep inside, I honestly wonder about stuff like that... the other stuff... and I wanted to be honest with him. It's just one of those things that I don't want to be afraid to question, I don't want to just give a pat Christian answer that I've been taught and conditioned to say, instead of what I really believe or am not sure of. In everything, I want to be genuine, even if that means admitting doubt - not to the detriment of faith, though. But I don't want to be afraid to question things I don't understand.
Okay, way off topic. So, tonight at music practice, we all had to go round and share our dream. And one of the guys there talked about bringing to the earth a sound from heaven, heaven's music... something like that... not just music that sounds like what's on the radio... and that really struck a chord with me (no pun intended!) and reminded me of what I read on the Brian May website.
How much more, should Christian musicians be able to usher into this earth the sound of heaven... a sound that is not of this earth... a sound that is so different... a sound that changes people's lives... a sound that brings life, that brings healing, that brings people to Jesus! I've heard Ian Fisher from Hillsong Church talk about this sorta thing... and I wanna be a part of that. I want to play music that goes beyond the sense of hearing, even beyond emotions, maybe... music that maybe even touches the spirit of man. Music that God can use to bring healing, freedom to the captives, that speaks his love to people's lives...
I've heard some music that I think does this for me. I dunno if it's just my emotions, or if it's God... maybe it's both. I think God can minister to our emotions through music. But I wanna play music that heals emotions, permanently, that just sets people free inside!!!
Okay, I'm going to bed now. Good night all.
Love,
the gregglesaurus =)
PS Hi to Penny! :D who I'm hoping likes my blog!
I clicked on the link, and saw a picture of a 12-ish yr old girl with short hair. After a bit more perusal, I discovered it was the biographic site of a young girl named Vicki Moore, who had been diagnosed with cancer. Well, not just cancer, but lots of cancer. In her spine and brain... and yeah... anyway, somehow she discovered Queen's music, and she writes several times in her journal about how she would listen to Queen and that would be her safe place, where she would be able to find peace and forget about her illness and pain and just shut everything out. And she ended up meeting Brian May and he gave her a spot on his website where her journal is now located.
Now, this got me thinking... Queen aren't a Christian band, they didn't play under the anointing of the Holy Spirit, in fact, this afternoon I was listening to Queen and in my spirit, just was not enjoying it... I turned it off and it was like - woah. I don't think God's telling me I'm not allowed to listen to Queen, but sometimes, I think he wants me to listen to music that specifically is anointed by him, or ... well, just Christian music. But, I digress. My point is, if Queen can have that sort of effect... why can't the church?
Sometimes, I think there's more to the spiritual realm than what we Christians see. Is it as cut and dried as God and Satan? Or is there some sort of spiritual element to our basic humanity? If psychics power comes only from satan and demons, then why did Samuel come back up when the Witch of Endor summoned him? I was talking to one of my work friends last week about laying hands on people and healing them and stuff... he's a Catholic and he told me about how at his church one time, the priest came and laid hands on this little girl from their church and she was healed... a lot of pentecostals might question that... but you know, he started talking about Reiki and stuff... new age stuff... and... well, at first I gave my Christian-pat-answer, "that's from the dark side", etc, etc... and it probably is... but deep inside, I honestly wonder about stuff like that... the other stuff... and I wanted to be honest with him. It's just one of those things that I don't want to be afraid to question, I don't want to just give a pat Christian answer that I've been taught and conditioned to say, instead of what I really believe or am not sure of. In everything, I want to be genuine, even if that means admitting doubt - not to the detriment of faith, though. But I don't want to be afraid to question things I don't understand.
Okay, way off topic. So, tonight at music practice, we all had to go round and share our dream. And one of the guys there talked about bringing to the earth a sound from heaven, heaven's music... something like that... not just music that sounds like what's on the radio... and that really struck a chord with me (no pun intended!) and reminded me of what I read on the Brian May website.
How much more, should Christian musicians be able to usher into this earth the sound of heaven... a sound that is not of this earth... a sound that is so different... a sound that changes people's lives... a sound that brings life, that brings healing, that brings people to Jesus! I've heard Ian Fisher from Hillsong Church talk about this sorta thing... and I wanna be a part of that. I want to play music that goes beyond the sense of hearing, even beyond emotions, maybe... music that maybe even touches the spirit of man. Music that God can use to bring healing, freedom to the captives, that speaks his love to people's lives...
I've heard some music that I think does this for me. I dunno if it's just my emotions, or if it's God... maybe it's both. I think God can minister to our emotions through music. But I wanna play music that heals emotions, permanently, that just sets people free inside!!!
Okay, I'm going to bed now. Good night all.
Love,
the gregglesaurus =)
PS Hi to Penny! :D who I'm hoping likes my blog!
Friday, August 04, 2006
I'm losing my job...
... and I couldn't be happier!!!
I actually went "yesssss" when I got off the phone, finishing the conversation that let me know the 'not positive' news that I was unsuccessful in my application for a full-time job at Telstra.
YAYYYYY!!!
It means I don't have to stay there!!!
It means I can do something that I actually want to do!! Something that I love!!!
What that is, exactly, I don't know yet...
But I knew, in my heart, especially this afternoon, before they called, that it really isn't what I want to be doing. I can't believe I've been there for over a year. I wish I didn't have to go back on Monday. Maybe those dreams of me taking myself to a prison, or going back to school almost 10 years after I finished were sorta about going to a job that I really didn't want to be doing. And yeah, I've had enough. In fact, I really don't know why anyone is there... I don't know ANYONE at Telstra - at least, where I work - who actually really enjoys it or loves their job. Everyone is so freakin' cynical - even the field technicians. And, so, naturally, it doesn't take long for that to rub off on me.
But I was really praying, "God, if you don't want me here..." when all along, my heart is saying ~ or God is saying ~ "Do YOU even want to be here?" And I had to be really honest, no. If they rang me up, and asked me if I REALLY wanted the job, I'd be lying if I didn't say no.
So now, I really really want to do what God wants me to do. I should finish up there sometime in September ~ if I stay to the end, I get a $1,000 bonus. Isn't that nice? But... God, what DO you want me to do? I don't wanna just do whatever, I really have this desire to do what God wants me to do. Whether that's to get another job, go back to tafe or uni, or something completely different...
I actually went "yesssss" when I got off the phone, finishing the conversation that let me know the 'not positive' news that I was unsuccessful in my application for a full-time job at Telstra.
YAYYYYY!!!
It means I don't have to stay there!!!
It means I can do something that I actually want to do!! Something that I love!!!
What that is, exactly, I don't know yet...
But I knew, in my heart, especially this afternoon, before they called, that it really isn't what I want to be doing. I can't believe I've been there for over a year. I wish I didn't have to go back on Monday. Maybe those dreams of me taking myself to a prison, or going back to school almost 10 years after I finished were sorta about going to a job that I really didn't want to be doing. And yeah, I've had enough. In fact, I really don't know why anyone is there... I don't know ANYONE at Telstra - at least, where I work - who actually really enjoys it or loves their job. Everyone is so freakin' cynical - even the field technicians. And, so, naturally, it doesn't take long for that to rub off on me.
But I was really praying, "God, if you don't want me here..." when all along, my heart is saying ~ or God is saying ~ "Do YOU even want to be here?" And I had to be really honest, no. If they rang me up, and asked me if I REALLY wanted the job, I'd be lying if I didn't say no.
So now, I really really want to do what God wants me to do. I should finish up there sometime in September ~ if I stay to the end, I get a $1,000 bonus. Isn't that nice? But... God, what DO you want me to do? I don't wanna just do whatever, I really have this desire to do what God wants me to do. Whether that's to get another job, go back to tafe or uni, or something completely different...
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
New pic
Here's a new pic of me, I can't be bothered to shrink it so it'll fit in as my profile pic. Maybe later. It's me playing at church.
Postin, postin, postin in mah blog...
Hello everyone who reads this. I love you all. :)
Hmm... well, I wanna write in here more often. Who knows, my words might even inspire people.
I've been checking out Bethany Dillon's website a lot lately. I highly recommend it to anyone. Actually... I think I might have even mentioned it in a previous post. Probably. Well, anyway, it's really cool. I love her journals. www.bethanydillon.com. Check it out. Check out her music, too.
Actually... I wonder if Beth Robertson's site has been updated lately...
nope. Beth, if you read this, and I doubt you do, update your site! Post a blog that all your teeny-bopper fans can read and stuff. I've been listening to your album again today. It's quite good. We should collab sometime, seriously.
Gotta still songwrite more. Not feeling so 'pressured' these days, though, which is good. Not feeling really guilty for spending excessive time playing Final Fantasy, which is also good. Feeling a little bit crap afterwards, which is good, because it means I won't spend too much time playing it again, at least not for a few days. :D I have submitted two songs, though, which should hopefully be getting sung in church sometime. One has a very Keith Green/Ben Folds sound to it. But I've got a few other songs kicking around in my heart and head that I need to get out sometime.
Feeling more organised lately, which is good, too. Using my PDA calendar a lot more lately, gives you a good feeling knowing that your day has some sort of planned structure to it, not just random spontaneousness.
Been reading a good book lately, "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. I have noticed that in Christian Dating books there are two different sides/camps. There is the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" camp, which focusses on values like waiting for the one God has for you, instead of giving yourself away thru temporary romances and stuff... and then there's the "Dateable/Marriable/I Gave Dating a Chance" camp, which encourages dating and getting out there to find the right person, and saying that the idea of waiting on God to just bring someone into your life is silly and sentimental, and that you wouldn't do that with a job, for instance, would you?
Both sides are VERY American. In fact, the whole concept of 'dating' is really a very American thing. Australians don't have 'dates' every freakin weekend. Australians just have boyfriends or girlfriends. But anyway, I digress. I thought I was on the second side, but I'm kinda coming back to the first side now. Really been thinking about it a lot lately, living my life as though she was already in it... because she is real, she exists, she is out there somewhere, and so why not start now, living my life committed to her... in my thoughts, my words... I don't wanna just suddenly change to be this wonderful person when I get married or get a girlfriend... I need to be that person now. Cos I know who I am at the moment ~ it's not who I really want to be. In the way I think about and deal with the opposite sex... I want to live devoted to her.
You may think that's crazy, but it's what I'm gonna go for for now. I think it's cool.
Gotta tell you this crazy story too. I went to visit my brother this afternoon, and get this ~ he was on a bus today, and some CRAZY, FREAKY woman puts this stuff in his hair and now he's got this big bald patch on the back of his head. I am grateful that I have a car, and that I no longer have to rely on public transport. Gosh, you get some feral people on public transport. Isn't it funny how anything with the word 'public' in it seems to be disgusting, but people say you shouldn't do certain things in 'public'. Like 'public toilets'... Okay, so that's not entirely true. But what happened to my brother today is true, and I think it totally takes the biscuit, nay, it is the epitome of public transport ferality. I don't think I shall ever ride a bus again, if I can help it.
Crazy times we live in.
Love and peace,
the gregglesaurus =)
Hmm... well, I wanna write in here more often. Who knows, my words might even inspire people.
I've been checking out Bethany Dillon's website a lot lately. I highly recommend it to anyone. Actually... I think I might have even mentioned it in a previous post. Probably. Well, anyway, it's really cool. I love her journals. www.bethanydillon.com. Check it out. Check out her music, too.
Actually... I wonder if Beth Robertson's site has been updated lately...
nope. Beth, if you read this, and I doubt you do, update your site! Post a blog that all your teeny-bopper fans can read and stuff. I've been listening to your album again today. It's quite good. We should collab sometime, seriously.
Gotta still songwrite more. Not feeling so 'pressured' these days, though, which is good. Not feeling really guilty for spending excessive time playing Final Fantasy, which is also good. Feeling a little bit crap afterwards, which is good, because it means I won't spend too much time playing it again, at least not for a few days. :D I have submitted two songs, though, which should hopefully be getting sung in church sometime. One has a very Keith Green/Ben Folds sound to it. But I've got a few other songs kicking around in my heart and head that I need to get out sometime.
Feeling more organised lately, which is good, too. Using my PDA calendar a lot more lately, gives you a good feeling knowing that your day has some sort of planned structure to it, not just random spontaneousness.
Been reading a good book lately, "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. I have noticed that in Christian Dating books there are two different sides/camps. There is the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" camp, which focusses on values like waiting for the one God has for you, instead of giving yourself away thru temporary romances and stuff... and then there's the "Dateable/Marriable/I Gave Dating a Chance" camp, which encourages dating and getting out there to find the right person, and saying that the idea of waiting on God to just bring someone into your life is silly and sentimental, and that you wouldn't do that with a job, for instance, would you?
Both sides are VERY American. In fact, the whole concept of 'dating' is really a very American thing. Australians don't have 'dates' every freakin weekend. Australians just have boyfriends or girlfriends. But anyway, I digress. I thought I was on the second side, but I'm kinda coming back to the first side now. Really been thinking about it a lot lately, living my life as though she was already in it... because she is real, she exists, she is out there somewhere, and so why not start now, living my life committed to her... in my thoughts, my words... I don't wanna just suddenly change to be this wonderful person when I get married or get a girlfriend... I need to be that person now. Cos I know who I am at the moment ~ it's not who I really want to be. In the way I think about and deal with the opposite sex... I want to live devoted to her.
You may think that's crazy, but it's what I'm gonna go for for now. I think it's cool.
Gotta tell you this crazy story too. I went to visit my brother this afternoon, and get this ~ he was on a bus today, and some CRAZY, FREAKY woman puts this stuff in his hair and now he's got this big bald patch on the back of his head. I am grateful that I have a car, and that I no longer have to rely on public transport. Gosh, you get some feral people on public transport. Isn't it funny how anything with the word 'public' in it seems to be disgusting, but people say you shouldn't do certain things in 'public'. Like 'public toilets'... Okay, so that's not entirely true. But what happened to my brother today is true, and I think it totally takes the biscuit, nay, it is the epitome of public transport ferality. I don't think I shall ever ride a bus again, if I can help it.
Crazy times we live in.
Love and peace,
the gregglesaurus =)
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Approval...
I read a really cool bit in the Bible today... John 5 (can't remember the verse), Jesus says, "Your approval or disapproval means nothing to me, because I know you do not have the love of God in your hearts." It never really stood out to me like it did today. Often we captialise on not caring if you don't have people's approval... but what about not caring if you DO have their approval? Just as we shouldn't be shaken by someone else's disapproval, we shouldn't get co-dependent or even affected by someone else's approval. We should only be concerned with pleasing our Father's heart...
Gosh that sounds preachy. I don't even know if it was really the Holy Spirit speaking to me, or if it was just my own thoughts. I opened up to a verse in Joel about repenting and fasting and that 'felt' more like it was God speaking to me. And then I read a chapter in the book I'm reading at the moment, "When God Writes Your Love Story" about laying down your whole life... and THAT really felt like God was speaking to me. It didn't feel very 'nice', but it's something I believe God was speaking to me about. But what does it REALLY mean to lay down your life for God? Is it just a state of the heart? Say, for instance, my playstation. How do I 'lay that down' for God? I went thru a whole thing before where I felt like God was telling me to get rid of it, or sell it or whatever - very painful, and frustrating - and after some counselling, we came to the conclusion, that it was just my subconscious or something, and it was never God in the first place. So, after going with that for a while, I found I was getting closer to God, I didn't really want to play the playstation that much, anyway, and now, I'm starting to songwrite again. So, if I don't have to 'get rid of it', how do I 'lay it down', because I still feel like it's taking a higher place in my heart than God sometimes. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's just the devil trying to get me focussed on something else. But I do know this - I want God to have all my heart, and I don't want anything to come before him. I want him to own every part of my life, and I want to be completely surrendered to him. Because, I know then, that I will have complete fulfillment in that anyway. When God owns our entire life, when everything is surrendered to him... I am completely content, satisfied and fulfilled.
Maybe if I just keep that heart, then everything else will fall into place. Yeah... I like the sound of that...
Gosh that sounds preachy. I don't even know if it was really the Holy Spirit speaking to me, or if it was just my own thoughts. I opened up to a verse in Joel about repenting and fasting and that 'felt' more like it was God speaking to me. And then I read a chapter in the book I'm reading at the moment, "When God Writes Your Love Story" about laying down your whole life... and THAT really felt like God was speaking to me. It didn't feel very 'nice', but it's something I believe God was speaking to me about. But what does it REALLY mean to lay down your life for God? Is it just a state of the heart? Say, for instance, my playstation. How do I 'lay that down' for God? I went thru a whole thing before where I felt like God was telling me to get rid of it, or sell it or whatever - very painful, and frustrating - and after some counselling, we came to the conclusion, that it was just my subconscious or something, and it was never God in the first place. So, after going with that for a while, I found I was getting closer to God, I didn't really want to play the playstation that much, anyway, and now, I'm starting to songwrite again. So, if I don't have to 'get rid of it', how do I 'lay it down', because I still feel like it's taking a higher place in my heart than God sometimes. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's just the devil trying to get me focussed on something else. But I do know this - I want God to have all my heart, and I don't want anything to come before him. I want him to own every part of my life, and I want to be completely surrendered to him. Because, I know then, that I will have complete fulfillment in that anyway. When God owns our entire life, when everything is surrendered to him... I am completely content, satisfied and fulfilled.
Maybe if I just keep that heart, then everything else will fall into place. Yeah... I like the sound of that...
Saturday, July 22, 2006
I am the champion, I am the champion...
I won! I won! Hooray hooray!
I am going into the Younique grand fianle!
I did hear a rumour that the grand prize is an iPod. Hope so. Wouldn't mind one of those, speshly since I'm a dedicated mac user now. Well, trying it out, anyway.
Oh, I sang a song I wrote AGES ago, "I Can't Live Without You" or you could just call it the co-dependent love song.
Girl
You mean everything to me
And without you I can't see
Anything good about me
And if you left me
I would surely pass away
Just like a fading flower
You give me power
To go on
And I can't live without you
And I, I really like you
And I, I hope you like me too
'Cos you didn't say hello to me
When I said hello to you tonight
And so I'm a bit afraid you don't like me anymore
I like your hair
And I like to stare
At your hair
In the moonlight
You make me smile
You make me laugh
And I love to watch you
When you're in the ba...
(I can't sing that...)
Bu...tterflies well up in my stomach
[chorus]
People say I'm just co-dependent
But they don't understand how I feel for you
I know I love you, cos I can feel it in my soul
I know this is meant to be, this is my destiny
[chorus]
'Cos you didn't say goodbye to me
When I said goodbye to you tonight
And you've pretty much ignored me most of the night
So I'm pretty sure you don't like me anymore
What a sad song. I was pretty shocked that I won, actually. I thought more people would've voted for the more 'spiritual' act, but there you go. So now I'd like to do something really really good for the grand final.
I've been looking at Bethany Dillon's website tonight. Very good website. I love her journals - her spiritual journey really inspires me. I think I'd like to be a singer/songwriter kinda thing. I reckon it'd be really cool to go round to churches and stuff, singing songs I wrote, talking about them to people, letting them be inspired by them, but I don't sing all that well... so I need a wife/gf so I can do stuff like that with her. So if you're young and single, female and a singer, and feel called to do something like that, maybe you're meant to marry me.
ARGH! How desperate does that sound? Just as well I'm only semi-serious. :p
But yeah, Beth's journals, really inspire me. I have so much deeper in God to go. I'm sure his message to me is still to 'spend more time with him'. I just get so apathetic, so complacent. I know now that God was never telling me to 'sell' or 'get rid of' my playstation or anything. Yet, sometimes, it's so easy to just go to that instead of spending time with him. Or MSN. Or just anything else. Why am I so afraid to draw near to him?
The beauty of God, though, is he doesn't force us into a relationship with him. He doesn't demand that we give things up so we can spend more time with him, rather, he just loves us, woos us, draws us with everlasting, everloving cords of kindness... =) I must look that verse up...
"I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with cords of kindness..."
I love that about God. How he 'draws' us, not ... 'forces' us. 'Cos I know, I just can't respond to that. It's gotta come from my heart. I can't just do something 'cos I'm told to. But he conditions our hearts, so we naturally want to do what he tells us to...
"I will write my laws on your heart..." (somewhere in the Bible)
Okay, well, I'll leave it at that, because this is already really long. I'm surprised I wrote so much in such a short time. I hope this blesses someone.
Love,
the gregglesaurus.
I am going into the Younique grand fianle!
I did hear a rumour that the grand prize is an iPod. Hope so. Wouldn't mind one of those, speshly since I'm a dedicated mac user now. Well, trying it out, anyway.
Oh, I sang a song I wrote AGES ago, "I Can't Live Without You" or you could just call it the co-dependent love song.
Girl
You mean everything to me
And without you I can't see
Anything good about me
And if you left me
I would surely pass away
Just like a fading flower
You give me power
To go on
And I can't live without you
And I, I really like you
And I, I hope you like me too
'Cos you didn't say hello to me
When I said hello to you tonight
And so I'm a bit afraid you don't like me anymore
I like your hair
And I like to stare
At your hair
In the moonlight
You make me smile
You make me laugh
And I love to watch you
When you're in the ba...
(I can't sing that...)
Bu...tterflies well up in my stomach
[chorus]
People say I'm just co-dependent
But they don't understand how I feel for you
I know I love you, cos I can feel it in my soul
I know this is meant to be, this is my destiny
[chorus]
'Cos you didn't say goodbye to me
When I said goodbye to you tonight
And you've pretty much ignored me most of the night
So I'm pretty sure you don't like me anymore
What a sad song. I was pretty shocked that I won, actually. I thought more people would've voted for the more 'spiritual' act, but there you go. So now I'd like to do something really really good for the grand final.
I've been looking at Bethany Dillon's website tonight. Very good website. I love her journals - her spiritual journey really inspires me. I think I'd like to be a singer/songwriter kinda thing. I reckon it'd be really cool to go round to churches and stuff, singing songs I wrote, talking about them to people, letting them be inspired by them, but I don't sing all that well... so I need a wife/gf so I can do stuff like that with her. So if you're young and single, female and a singer, and feel called to do something like that, maybe you're meant to marry me.
ARGH! How desperate does that sound? Just as well I'm only semi-serious. :p
But yeah, Beth's journals, really inspire me. I have so much deeper in God to go. I'm sure his message to me is still to 'spend more time with him'. I just get so apathetic, so complacent. I know now that God was never telling me to 'sell' or 'get rid of' my playstation or anything. Yet, sometimes, it's so easy to just go to that instead of spending time with him. Or MSN. Or just anything else. Why am I so afraid to draw near to him?
The beauty of God, though, is he doesn't force us into a relationship with him. He doesn't demand that we give things up so we can spend more time with him, rather, he just loves us, woos us, draws us with everlasting, everloving cords of kindness... =) I must look that verse up...
"I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with cords of kindness..."
I love that about God. How he 'draws' us, not ... 'forces' us. 'Cos I know, I just can't respond to that. It's gotta come from my heart. I can't just do something 'cos I'm told to. But he conditions our hearts, so we naturally want to do what he tells us to...
"I will write my laws on your heart..." (somewhere in the Bible)
Okay, well, I'll leave it at that, because this is already really long. I'm surprised I wrote so much in such a short time. I hope this blesses someone.
Love,
the gregglesaurus.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
It's a beautiful day
How gentle is the rain
That falls softly on the meadow
Birds high up in the trees
Serenade the flowers
With their melodies...
=)
It's such a beautiful rainy day outside. But how can I say that, I haven't even been out there! Let me open my blind...
Ah... there we go. Niice. Beautiful grey... the sound of rain... oh, it's just lovely!
I have taken a bold step and tried to cut over completely to Mac. And let me say, it's a really nice feeling to just have my beautiful 17 inch iMac on my desk. Having a PC and Mac side by side... just gets too cluttered. I have stacks more space on my desk now. I've even managed to make room for the printer that Sarahanne kindly donated to me - which perfectly matches my Mac decor - and for which I still need to get a printhead!
This must be something like Feng Shui... without the spiritual side. I definitely agree though, that the placing of objects in your living environment can definitely affect you at least mentally and emotionally, and give you a sense of balance.
All I need now is an easier way to turn on my sound... without having to reach over to my mixer desk and stereo. I'd leave my mixer desk on, but it might use lots of electricity.
While I'm on the subject of Macs - I downloaded a little plug-in called 'Growl' last night. It's great! It makes customised alerts appear on your screen - for instance, when someone signs in on MSN (or aMSN, which I use), you can set it up so a really sexy looking popup thing comes up at the bottom of your screen - kinda like a music video... and you can do the same with itunes as well! How cool is that...
I just wish I had little buttons on my keyboard to control itunes... I wonder if I can set up some hot keys on my "F" keys.
However will I get my clothes washed today? Hopefully Mummy will be kind enough to let me use her dryer. I should buy a dryer. But they use lots of electricity too. But I'd only use it in emergencies or when it's raining. Like today.
K, that'll do for now. I'll try and write more often.
I need to spend more time with God.
PS This entry was originally published on my MSN Space, but for some reason, it doesn't allow for paragraphs... and I can't blog without paragraphs!!!!!!
That falls softly on the meadow
Birds high up in the trees
Serenade the flowers
With their melodies...
=)
It's such a beautiful rainy day outside. But how can I say that, I haven't even been out there! Let me open my blind...
Ah... there we go. Niice. Beautiful grey... the sound of rain... oh, it's just lovely!
I have taken a bold step and tried to cut over completely to Mac. And let me say, it's a really nice feeling to just have my beautiful 17 inch iMac on my desk. Having a PC and Mac side by side... just gets too cluttered. I have stacks more space on my desk now. I've even managed to make room for the printer that Sarahanne kindly donated to me - which perfectly matches my Mac decor - and for which I still need to get a printhead!
This must be something like Feng Shui... without the spiritual side. I definitely agree though, that the placing of objects in your living environment can definitely affect you at least mentally and emotionally, and give you a sense of balance.
All I need now is an easier way to turn on my sound... without having to reach over to my mixer desk and stereo. I'd leave my mixer desk on, but it might use lots of electricity.
While I'm on the subject of Macs - I downloaded a little plug-in called 'Growl' last night. It's great! It makes customised alerts appear on your screen - for instance, when someone signs in on MSN (or aMSN, which I use), you can set it up so a really sexy looking popup thing comes up at the bottom of your screen - kinda like a music video... and you can do the same with itunes as well! How cool is that...
I just wish I had little buttons on my keyboard to control itunes... I wonder if I can set up some hot keys on my "F" keys.
However will I get my clothes washed today? Hopefully Mummy will be kind enough to let me use her dryer. I should buy a dryer. But they use lots of electricity too. But I'd only use it in emergencies or when it's raining. Like today.
K, that'll do for now. I'll try and write more often.
I need to spend more time with God.
PS This entry was originally published on my MSN Space, but for some reason, it doesn't allow for paragraphs... and I can't blog without paragraphs!!!!!!
Friday, May 19, 2006
Quick post before bed
Hey, I'll probably regret this when I wake up in the morning, but hey...
Wow, what a week it's been. Well, not really. Feels like it, tho... maybe just too many late nights.
I got Advent Children this week! :) Yeah, so I almost fell in love with Aerith all over again... "dilly dally shilly shally" became my life's philosophy... but I think my heart's settled down a bit now. Let me talk about Dilly Dally Shilly Shally. Amazing the stir it's caused on the internet. Some people just don't get it, but I think it's brilliant. Cloud is so lost in his perceived guilt to the point where he cuts himself off from his friends, and just clings to that memory of Aerith, and how he blames himself for his death... and then she says: "Dilly dally shilly shally. Isn't it time you did the forgiving?" In other words, Cloud, get over it, stop angsting, forgive yourself and move on. I can't help but entertain the thought that maybe sometimes God would say dilly dally shilly shally to us. Or at least to me. Gosh I angst a lot. But I'm not gonna start angsting about angsting. =)
I just think that really captures Aerith's free spirit so well.
I also saw Mission Impossible 3 tonight! I thought it was brilliant! I wanna be a secret agent when I grow up. I have dreams about stuff like that, where I'm running away from people shooting at me, or driving away a lot of the time. I hope they make a really good game of it or something... I reckon it'd be awesome to have a game, like Splinter Cell or Metal Gear, except you control a whole team or squad of 4 or something... or maybe a multi-player game... that would be heaps cool...
It's midnight. Good night - laterz. =)
PS There's a nice picture of me that I took tonight. =)
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Goodnight Monsterland...
Pooh!
I got up to ... I think Round 10 on WBIML... and I died!! That's the sucky thing about old video games, you don't have saves... these days, we gamers have become soft, due to the wonderous invention of the MEMORY CARD. =) Video games are just too easy these days.
The gig went... well, okay. I was a little bit down tonight, not quite sure why. I think I'm just tired. But everyone there seemed happy with the sound, so that's good. =) We both made a few little mistakes, but meh, who cares? We got $90 each. Sweet. The thing that really bummed me out was it was sooo hard to hear each other. Em was having trouble hearing me, I was having trouble hearing her, and we were right next to the kitchen, which is like open to the whole dining room... so it's very noisy! And of course, people were talking, which is fair enough, considering you're doing background music...
That just reminded me of this one time when I had to play piano at some stupid school concert... and the audience talked right thru my performance. Man that sucked. Maybe that's why I found it hard tonight. I guess I'm not used to playing to an un-captive audience.
Sooooo tired. Going to bed now. Holy crap, it's quarter to midnight. Sleeeeeep... ahh... bliss...
Love you all,
goodnight!!
the gregglesaurus
I got up to ... I think Round 10 on WBIML... and I died!! That's the sucky thing about old video games, you don't have saves... these days, we gamers have become soft, due to the wonderous invention of the MEMORY CARD. =) Video games are just too easy these days.
The gig went... well, okay. I was a little bit down tonight, not quite sure why. I think I'm just tired. But everyone there seemed happy with the sound, so that's good. =) We both made a few little mistakes, but meh, who cares? We got $90 each. Sweet. The thing that really bummed me out was it was sooo hard to hear each other. Em was having trouble hearing me, I was having trouble hearing her, and we were right next to the kitchen, which is like open to the whole dining room... so it's very noisy! And of course, people were talking, which is fair enough, considering you're doing background music...
That just reminded me of this one time when I had to play piano at some stupid school concert... and the audience talked right thru my performance. Man that sucked. Maybe that's why I found it hard tonight. I guess I'm not used to playing to an un-captive audience.
Sooooo tired. Going to bed now. Holy crap, it's quarter to midnight. Sleeeeeep... ahh... bliss...
Love you all,
goodnight!!
the gregglesaurus
Date with Destiny...
Quick post before bed...
Thankyou to all those who have been reading my blog. I don't know who you are because none of you have left comments. Except for Megan... thanks.
Anyway! I have some exciting news! This week, I really got freed from a lot of crap that has been holding me down for sooooo long. I won't go into details, but let's just say God is good... much gooder than I thought. Here's my theory on God. No matter how good you perceive him to be, he's really better.
It has been an extremely busy week. 7am shift at work, music practice on Monday night, "dream team" meeting on Tuesday night, practice with Em and Connect on Wednesday night, practice with Em and Destiny wedding band practice on Thursday night, youth on Friday night, and today, 2 church news ads, washing (which is still on the line, I'll probably get it off on Tuesday), a MAMMOTH practice with Em for tomorrow night and some running around to get a mother's day gift with Andrew (my brother).
Yes, tomorrow night is my first date with destiny!! I am very excited about my gig with Emily, we have 30 songs... well, we cut two, so 28... gosh, she's got an amazing voice... and we had so much fun practicing tonight, for five freaking hours! which included a well-earned and much-needed macca's run. I love my Hello Kitty hairstyle ... thing!
So I'll let you all know how tomorrow night goes... but I think it's gonna rock.
Sarahanne - if you're reading this: good luck! You are a super-talented girl, and you have a great voice! Go for it, sistah!
Happy note: I found Wonderboy in Monsterland at the Old Lolly Factory in town! Got it for $5! Yesssssssss!
Thankyou to all those who have been reading my blog. I don't know who you are because none of you have left comments. Except for Megan... thanks.
Anyway! I have some exciting news! This week, I really got freed from a lot of crap that has been holding me down for sooooo long. I won't go into details, but let's just say God is good... much gooder than I thought. Here's my theory on God. No matter how good you perceive him to be, he's really better.
It has been an extremely busy week. 7am shift at work, music practice on Monday night, "dream team" meeting on Tuesday night, practice with Em and Connect on Wednesday night, practice with Em and Destiny wedding band practice on Thursday night, youth on Friday night, and today, 2 church news ads, washing (which is still on the line, I'll probably get it off on Tuesday), a MAMMOTH practice with Em for tomorrow night and some running around to get a mother's day gift with Andrew (my brother).
Yes, tomorrow night is my first date with destiny!! I am very excited about my gig with Emily, we have 30 songs... well, we cut two, so 28... gosh, she's got an amazing voice... and we had so much fun practicing tonight, for five freaking hours! which included a well-earned and much-needed macca's run. I love my Hello Kitty hairstyle ... thing!
So I'll let you all know how tomorrow night goes... but I think it's gonna rock.
Sarahanne - if you're reading this: good luck! You are a super-talented girl, and you have a great voice! Go for it, sistah!
Happy note: I found Wonderboy in Monsterland at the Old Lolly Factory in town! Got it for $5! Yesssssssss!
Friday, May 05, 2006
continued...
Sometimes I feel like a sanguine. Sometimes I feel totally introverted and shy. I've recentlly noticed a common factor... in those times when I feel like God is far away and I feel seperated from him (whether real or not, I don't know) that's when I really withdraw and kinda shut down... but when I don't really think about it that much, and I feel like everythings at least ok with God... well, I'm more outgoing and confident... I could almost say extroverted. Something I've been pondering lately. Am I really an introvert or an extrovert? Am I just ... who God made me, perhaps??
Oh yeah... also...
Well, I thought since I'm up I should probably post some quick news too...
I went to the dentist yesterday, and got my teeth 'cleaned'. Got rid off all that crap on my teeth I was telling you about before... tell you what?? It feels awful now! My bottom teeth were all smooth from that 'calculus' on the back, and now they're all ridged... and that's the way they're meant to be! Not very comfortable. Well, not very nice feeling, anyway.
Umm...
So yeah, I mentioned this thing about music at a restaurant! Yeah, Ann-Marie managed to get a whole heap of us involved in this thing with a restaurant in Wallsend called Destiny's... and so, we're going to be the in-house band for weddings and other functions and stuff, which is very exciting - even though the rest of the band wants to do a gig without me... hehe... um, but on Mother's Day, I'm doing a gig with a girl named Emily (I won't say her last name for her protection) - whose voice absolutely ROCKS. Heck yes. I'm kinda blown away? honoured? touched? that I get to work with someone so talented. But heck, it's not her - it's just the gift that God has given her, so yeah... don't get a big head, Em. :p if you're reading this that is. Nah, seriously, it'll be a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to it.
Oh wow! I'm listening to Spread Your Wings on this Queen concert (see previous posts) and they just went into double time at the end! How cool!!
Well, I have much more to share... but... I'll just share this one last personal thought that I've been thinking about lately (and back into half time! Nice! Weird thing is, Freddie seems to be singing in his higher range in some of these live tracks - why did he always sing low when he was performing live???)
I went to the dentist yesterday, and got my teeth 'cleaned'. Got rid off all that crap on my teeth I was telling you about before... tell you what?? It feels awful now! My bottom teeth were all smooth from that 'calculus' on the back, and now they're all ridged... and that's the way they're meant to be! Not very comfortable. Well, not very nice feeling, anyway.
Umm...
So yeah, I mentioned this thing about music at a restaurant! Yeah, Ann-Marie managed to get a whole heap of us involved in this thing with a restaurant in Wallsend called Destiny's... and so, we're going to be the in-house band for weddings and other functions and stuff, which is very exciting - even though the rest of the band wants to do a gig without me... hehe... um, but on Mother's Day, I'm doing a gig with a girl named Emily (I won't say her last name for her protection) - whose voice absolutely ROCKS. Heck yes. I'm kinda blown away? honoured? touched? that I get to work with someone so talented. But heck, it's not her - it's just the gift that God has given her, so yeah... don't get a big head, Em. :p if you're reading this that is. Nah, seriously, it'll be a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to it.
Oh wow! I'm listening to Spread Your Wings on this Queen concert (see previous posts) and they just went into double time at the end! How cool!!
Well, I have much more to share... but... I'll just share this one last personal thought that I've been thinking about lately (and back into half time! Nice! Weird thing is, Freddie seems to be singing in his higher range in some of these live tracks - why did he always sing low when he was performing live???)
MP3 legality blues... part 2
(But I don't really feel bad about videotaping stuff off TV, or speeding for that matter... well, actually, I do feel a slight little poke when I'm speeding... but I certainly don't feel like it's cutting me off from God...)
But here's a thought... the more I look in to it, this whole RIAA thing (or whatever they call themselves) seem to be really ... well, bad. Trying to control the whole music industry and everything... and I read that some artists are actually not against file sharing, and are actually trying to stop the RIAA from making it illegal, in particular in Canada. I mean... $1.69 for a digital download... I think that's a bit of a rip-off, really, considering that you can probably buy a lot of this music from a second hand store for even less than that. They make you pay about $18 for an album, which is about the same you'd pay at K-mart for a top 40 cd. I know a second hand shop where you can buy stacks of used cd's for $8, with no reduction in quality. (So, why can't they make digital downloads cheaper? Second hand mp3's... how does that work?) What are you paying for when you purchase an album? The physical media or the music? If it's the physical media, then why were CD's more expensive than cassettes by $10? Because CD's were better quality. But the actual medium... well, you'll probably find that it's cheaper to buy blank cd's than casettes! Hah!
Now... what is more unethical? Charging this much money for digital downloads?? Or downloading it free? Which is the lesser of two evils?? The bible says a lot about injustice and extortion, too... but it does also say render unto Caesar what is Caesars...
By the way - taping songs off the radio? That's illegal too! Illegal illegal illegal! Everything is bloody illegal!!
Anyway, sorry if this is all over the place, it's just my thoughts as they come out. I'd be interested to know yours... meanwhile, I better get to bed... it's 12.06am on Friday morning...
But here's a thought... the more I look in to it, this whole RIAA thing (or whatever they call themselves) seem to be really ... well, bad. Trying to control the whole music industry and everything... and I read that some artists are actually not against file sharing, and are actually trying to stop the RIAA from making it illegal, in particular in Canada. I mean... $1.69 for a digital download... I think that's a bit of a rip-off, really, considering that you can probably buy a lot of this music from a second hand store for even less than that. They make you pay about $18 for an album, which is about the same you'd pay at K-mart for a top 40 cd. I know a second hand shop where you can buy stacks of used cd's for $8, with no reduction in quality. (So, why can't they make digital downloads cheaper? Second hand mp3's... how does that work?) What are you paying for when you purchase an album? The physical media or the music? If it's the physical media, then why were CD's more expensive than cassettes by $10? Because CD's were better quality. But the actual medium... well, you'll probably find that it's cheaper to buy blank cd's than casettes! Hah!
Now... what is more unethical? Charging this much money for digital downloads?? Or downloading it free? Which is the lesser of two evils?? The bible says a lot about injustice and extortion, too... but it does also say render unto Caesar what is Caesars...
By the way - taping songs off the radio? That's illegal too! Illegal illegal illegal! Everything is bloody illegal!!
Anyway, sorry if this is all over the place, it's just my thoughts as they come out. I'd be interested to know yours... meanwhile, I better get to bed... it's 12.06am on Friday morning...
MP3 legality blues... part 1
Grrr...
I hate this!
I have a very sensitive conscience, almost to a fault. And I've been feeling ... convicted? ... about downloading mp3's from limewire, only for the purpose of learning songs for this stuff at the restaurant. I didn't really wanna pay $1.69 a track from itunes for legal downloads, especially when it wasn't really for just entertainment purposes, but learning the songs... So, the past few days, I've sorta been having this inner battle with my bulldog of a conscience about the whole thing... to the point where I wake up every morning feeling AWFUL.
Does anyone else struggle with this sorta thing? I mean, it bugs me, because most people I know don't have any problem with downloading mp3's off the net.
Anyway, I'm sort of at a point at the moment where ... well, I don't feel like I have to delete all the mp3's I've downloaded. See, I wouldn't feel right about downloading for free music for my own enjoyment... if it's really good music, I want to see that the artist's get what is due them. Especially since I have aspirations of being a recording artist one day...
Anyways, a friend of mine told me about this website called allofmp3.com, which is a russian website that offers 'legal' downloads for as cheap as 2c a track. I just downloaded some rare Queen concert in Japan for about $2US. Pretty good, huh? Apparently, there's some loophole in the Russian laws that make digital media sharing legal or something... but I'm not sure if it's legal to download from another country. So yeah, but I'm going ahead and doing it anyway... for now.
Thing is, did you know it's illegal (apparently) to video tape programs off TV? Crazy, huh?? It's even illegal to re-use photographs downloaded from the internet!! Copyright laws are so stupid! But because I have a very sensitive conscience, I feel like I have to abide by them, in order to be in right standing with God. In a nutshell - I feel like I'm cutting myself off from God by posessing illegally downloaded mp3's. I feel like it's putting a block in my relationship with him. Is this silly? Is it just me...? but then the Bible does say if you do something against your conscience, then for you, it is sin. So? I'm screwed!
I hate this!
I have a very sensitive conscience, almost to a fault. And I've been feeling ... convicted? ... about downloading mp3's from limewire, only for the purpose of learning songs for this stuff at the restaurant. I didn't really wanna pay $1.69 a track from itunes for legal downloads, especially when it wasn't really for just entertainment purposes, but learning the songs... So, the past few days, I've sorta been having this inner battle with my bulldog of a conscience about the whole thing... to the point where I wake up every morning feeling AWFUL.
Does anyone else struggle with this sorta thing? I mean, it bugs me, because most people I know don't have any problem with downloading mp3's off the net.
Anyway, I'm sort of at a point at the moment where ... well, I don't feel like I have to delete all the mp3's I've downloaded. See, I wouldn't feel right about downloading for free music for my own enjoyment... if it's really good music, I want to see that the artist's get what is due them. Especially since I have aspirations of being a recording artist one day...
Anyways, a friend of mine told me about this website called allofmp3.com, which is a russian website that offers 'legal' downloads for as cheap as 2c a track. I just downloaded some rare Queen concert in Japan for about $2US. Pretty good, huh? Apparently, there's some loophole in the Russian laws that make digital media sharing legal or something... but I'm not sure if it's legal to download from another country. So yeah, but I'm going ahead and doing it anyway... for now.
Thing is, did you know it's illegal (apparently) to video tape programs off TV? Crazy, huh?? It's even illegal to re-use photographs downloaded from the internet!! Copyright laws are so stupid! But because I have a very sensitive conscience, I feel like I have to abide by them, in order to be in right standing with God. In a nutshell - I feel like I'm cutting myself off from God by posessing illegally downloaded mp3's. I feel like it's putting a block in my relationship with him. Is this silly? Is it just me...? but then the Bible does say if you do something against your conscience, then for you, it is sin. So? I'm screwed!
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Purpose
I got this email from my landlady today. Funny, I'd just been listening to a song called "Seize The Day" by Carolyn Arends, and thinking how much I need to do that.
I've read The Purpose Driven Life a while ago, but I guess I didn't really let it get to me that much. This did, tho - especially the bit about not being a human doing, but a human being. For the longest time, I have lived with a sense of frustration that I'm not doing enough with my life... wasting so many days... perhaps I've been going around it the wrong way... instead of trying to force myself to do something productive with my day, maybe I need to focus on my true purpose... to know God... and everything else will flow out of that...
Having a daily prayer time helps too. I actually did that today... first one in ages. It's amazing how much more focussed you feel when you do that...
Anyway, here's the email. I'm gonna bold the bits that meant a lot to me:
Subject: Fw: interview with Rick Warren
interview with Rick Warren
This is absolutely incredible , "Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in southern California .The interview was so inspiring to me that I wanted to share it with as many people as I could.
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal.
God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just
coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. (I've always thought something like that to myself.)
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the
toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark
time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like
two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always
something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,
"which is my problem, my issues, my pain."
But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus
off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of
thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.
It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her
character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a
testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder.
For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold
15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with
before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money,
notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our
lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. (What!?!?)
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? (ouch)
Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness?
Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say,
God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better ...
God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more
interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
I would rather live my life as if there is a God,
And die to find out there isn't,
Than live my life as if there isn't,
And die to find out there is.
So there you have it, pretty profound, huh?
And now for the quote of the day from homestarrunner.com. In the new game, dungeonman 3, if you type "go west" in an area where you can't actually go west, it comes up, "Well, aren't you the king of wishful thinking? It's a shame you can't go that way, because I've heard that life is peaceful there." Brilliant!!
I've read The Purpose Driven Life a while ago, but I guess I didn't really let it get to me that much. This did, tho - especially the bit about not being a human doing, but a human being. For the longest time, I have lived with a sense of frustration that I'm not doing enough with my life... wasting so many days... perhaps I've been going around it the wrong way... instead of trying to force myself to do something productive with my day, maybe I need to focus on my true purpose... to know God... and everything else will flow out of that...
Having a daily prayer time helps too. I actually did that today... first one in ages. It's amazing how much more focussed you feel when you do that...
Anyway, here's the email. I'm gonna bold the bits that meant a lot to me:
Subject: Fw: interview with Rick Warren
interview with Rick Warren
This is absolutely incredible , "Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in southern California .The interview was so inspiring to me that I wanted to share it with as many people as I could.
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal.
God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just
coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. (I've always thought something like that to myself.)
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the
toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark
time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like
two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always
something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,
"which is my problem, my issues, my pain."
But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus
off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of
thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.
It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her
character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a
testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder.
For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold
15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with
before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money,
notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our
lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. (What!?!?)
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? (ouch)
Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness?
Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say,
God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better ...
God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more
interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
I would rather live my life as if there is a God,
And die to find out there isn't,
Than live my life as if there isn't,
And die to find out there is.
So there you have it, pretty profound, huh?
And now for the quote of the day from homestarrunner.com. In the new game, dungeonman 3, if you type "go west" in an area where you can't actually go west, it comes up, "Well, aren't you the king of wishful thinking? It's a shame you can't go that way, because I've heard that life is peaceful there." Brilliant!!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Now we're together again... no need to be lonely... together again... my one and only...
I just watched the DVD of Here Comes Garfield. In it, Odie gets taken to the city pound and Garfield goes to rescue him, and Odie almost gets put to sleep.
It used to make me cry as a kid, and I still got a bit teary eyed watching it now. =) I love that cartoon.
Funny thing is, the really sad song in it, So Long Old Friend... I wrote a song that almost sounded exactly the same. Guess it got stuck in my subconscious or something.
I have got serious dandruff issues. And it looks like I have some kind of plaque on the back of my teeth. So I finally got some toothpaste and a new tooth brush, and some dental floss. Ally thinks I should go and see a dentist. I don't really want to, but apparently to get this stuff off the back of my teeth (she called it calcius or something), I'll probably have to. But she recommended a really good one.
Now we're together again
No need to be lonely
Together again
My one and only
Together again, my friend, just you and me...
Such a happy song... it almost brings tears to my eyes... :`) happy ones, of course.
It used to make me cry as a kid, and I still got a bit teary eyed watching it now. =) I love that cartoon.
Funny thing is, the really sad song in it, So Long Old Friend... I wrote a song that almost sounded exactly the same. Guess it got stuck in my subconscious or something.
I have got serious dandruff issues. And it looks like I have some kind of plaque on the back of my teeth. So I finally got some toothpaste and a new tooth brush, and some dental floss. Ally thinks I should go and see a dentist. I don't really want to, but apparently to get this stuff off the back of my teeth (she called it calcius or something), I'll probably have to. But she recommended a really good one.
Now we're together again
No need to be lonely
Together again
My one and only
Together again, my friend, just you and me...
Such a happy song... it almost brings tears to my eyes... :`) happy ones, of course.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
First Post
Welcome to my new blog.
I'm sick of having all these different websites all over the net - I have a tripod website, a myspace, an msn space, and probably others as well. So, being of a melancholy temperament, it'd suit me nicely to just streamline the whole thing to ONE. Just like Tesltra is doing at the moment.
So, this will be the blog. One blog to rule them all, one blog to bind them. One blog to... something... and in the darkness ... find them?
And that's all about I have to say about that... for now.
Thanks for reading.
I'm sick of having all these different websites all over the net - I have a tripod website, a myspace, an msn space, and probably others as well. So, being of a melancholy temperament, it'd suit me nicely to just streamline the whole thing to ONE. Just like Tesltra is doing at the moment.
So, this will be the blog. One blog to rule them all, one blog to bind them. One blog to... something... and in the darkness ... find them?
And that's all about I have to say about that... for now.
Thanks for reading.
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