I am the champion, I am the champion...

I won! I won! Hooray hooray!

I am going into the Younique grand fianle!

I did hear a rumour that the grand prize is an iPod. Hope so. Wouldn't mind one of those, speshly since I'm a dedicated mac user now. Well, trying it out, anyway.

Oh, I sang a song I wrote AGES ago, "I Can't Live Without You" or you could just call it the co-dependent love song.

Girl
You mean everything to me
And without you I can't see
Anything good about me
And if you left me
I would surely pass away
Just like a fading flower
You give me power
To go on

And I can't live without you
And I, I really like you
And I, I hope you like me too
'Cos you didn't say hello to me
When I said hello to you tonight
And so I'm a bit afraid you don't like me anymore

I like your hair
And I like to stare
At your hair
In the moonlight
You make me smile
You make me laugh
And I love to watch you
When you're in the ba...

(I can't sing that...)

Bu...tterflies well up in my stomach

[chorus]

People say I'm just co-dependent
But they don't understand how I feel for you
I know I love you, cos I can feel it in my soul
I know this is meant to be, this is my destiny

[chorus]
'Cos you didn't say goodbye to me
When I said goodbye to you tonight
And you've pretty much ignored me most of the night
So I'm pretty sure you don't like me anymore

What a sad song. I was pretty shocked that I won, actually. I thought more people would've voted for the more 'spiritual' act, but there you go. So now I'd like to do something really really good for the grand final.

I've been looking at Bethany Dillon's website tonight. Very good website. I love her journals - her spiritual journey really inspires me. I think I'd like to be a singer/songwriter kinda thing. I reckon it'd be really cool to go round to churches and stuff, singing songs I wrote, talking about them to people, letting them be inspired by them, but I don't sing all that well... so I need a wife/gf so I can do stuff like that with her. So if you're young and single, female and a singer, and feel called to do something like that, maybe you're meant to marry me.

ARGH! How desperate does that sound? Just as well I'm only semi-serious. :p

But yeah, Beth's journals, really inspire me. I have so much deeper in God to go. I'm sure his message to me is still to 'spend more time with him'. I just get so apathetic, so complacent. I know now that God was never telling me to 'sell' or 'get rid of' my playstation or anything. Yet, sometimes, it's so easy to just go to that instead of spending time with him. Or MSN. Or just anything else. Why am I so afraid to draw near to him?

The beauty of God, though, is he doesn't force us into a relationship with him. He doesn't demand that we give things up so we can spend more time with him, rather, he just loves us, woos us, draws us with everlasting, everloving cords of kindness... =) I must look that verse up...

"I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with cords of kindness..."

I love that about God. How he 'draws' us, not ... 'forces' us. 'Cos I know, I just can't respond to that. It's gotta come from my heart. I can't just do something 'cos I'm told to. But he conditions our hearts, so we naturally want to do what he tells us to...

"I will write my laws on your heart..." (somewhere in the Bible)

Okay, well, I'll leave it at that, because this is already really long. I'm surprised I wrote so much in such a short time. I hope this blesses someone.

Love,
the gregglesaurus.