I'm losing my job...

... and I couldn't be happier!!!

I actually went "yesssss" when I got off the phone, finishing the conversation that let me know the 'not positive' news that I was unsuccessful in my application for a full-time job at Telstra.

YAYYYYY!!!

It means I don't have to stay there!!!

It means I can do something that I actually want to do!! Something that I love!!!

What that is, exactly, I don't know yet...

But I knew, in my heart, especially this afternoon, before they called, that it really isn't what I want to be doing. I can't believe I've been there for over a year. I wish I didn't have to go back on Monday. Maybe those dreams of me taking myself to a prison, or going back to school almost 10 years after I finished were sorta about going to a job that I really didn't want to be doing. And yeah, I've had enough. In fact, I really don't know why anyone is there... I don't know ANYONE at Telstra - at least, where I work - who actually really enjoys it or loves their job. Everyone is so freakin' cynical - even the field technicians. And, so, naturally, it doesn't take long for that to rub off on me.

But I was really praying, "God, if you don't want me here..." when all along, my heart is saying ~ or God is saying ~ "Do YOU even want to be here?" And I had to be really honest, no. If they rang me up, and asked me if I REALLY wanted the job, I'd be lying if I didn't say no.

So now, I really really want to do what God wants me to do. I should finish up there sometime in September ~ if I stay to the end, I get a $1,000 bonus. Isn't that nice? But... God, what DO you want me to do? I don't wanna just do whatever, I really have this desire to do what God wants me to do. Whether that's to get another job, go back to tafe or uni, or something completely different...