Approval...

I read a really cool bit in the Bible today... John 5 (can't remember the verse), Jesus says, "Your approval or disapproval means nothing to me, because I know you do not have the love of God in your hearts." It never really stood out to me like it did today. Often we captialise on not caring if you don't have people's approval... but what about not caring if you DO have their approval? Just as we shouldn't be shaken by someone else's disapproval, we shouldn't get co-dependent or even affected by someone else's approval. We should only be concerned with pleasing our Father's heart...

Gosh that sounds preachy. I don't even know if it was really the Holy Spirit speaking to me, or if it was just my own thoughts. I opened up to a verse in Joel about repenting and fasting and that 'felt' more like it was God speaking to me. And then I read a chapter in the book I'm reading at the moment, "When God Writes Your Love Story" about laying down your whole life... and THAT really felt like God was speaking to me. It didn't feel very 'nice', but it's something I believe God was speaking to me about. But what does it REALLY mean to lay down your life for God? Is it just a state of the heart? Say, for instance, my playstation. How do I 'lay that down' for God? I went thru a whole thing before where I felt like God was telling me to get rid of it, or sell it or whatever - very painful, and frustrating - and after some counselling, we came to the conclusion, that it was just my subconscious or something, and it was never God in the first place. So, after going with that for a while, I found I was getting closer to God, I didn't really want to play the playstation that much, anyway, and now, I'm starting to songwrite again. So, if I don't have to 'get rid of it', how do I 'lay it down', because I still feel like it's taking a higher place in my heart than God sometimes. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's just the devil trying to get me focussed on something else. But I do know this - I want God to have all my heart, and I don't want anything to come before him. I want him to own every part of my life, and I want to be completely surrendered to him. Because, I know then, that I will have complete fulfillment in that anyway. When God owns our entire life, when everything is surrendered to him... I am completely content, satisfied and fulfilled.

Maybe if I just keep that heart, then everything else will fall into place. Yeah... I like the sound of that...